Hello Seagull my old friend
You’re nesting on my roof again
You’re not a vision safely creeping
But hell that’s stopping me from sleeping
And the sound reverberating throughout my skull
It’s never dull, it is the sound of seagulls

Those chicks up there are not alone
They’re really made this place their home
Sitting happily upon the tiles
They really can see you for miles and miles
When those heads they turn,
Those eyes, and yes they do
to pinpoint you
Beware the sound of seagulls

Now I’m scared to go outdoors
Just one swoop and I’ll be floored
Those wings they are a beating
Strafing me and leave me bleeding
Relaxing sun with drink
in the deckchair
I cannot dare
Provoke the sound of seagulls

The postman really doesn’t know
I’m begging Sainsburys don’t be slow
The warning’s out that they did procreate
Up there on the polycarbonate
Don’t stay behind to point or just to view
Or you’ll feel it too … the seagulls

And the chicks they soon will fledge
And they’ll be falling off the edge
Pretty soon they will be soaring
and their parents won’t be calling
And the sun says
Take your book, your drink
And your chair and sit outside
Reclaim your pride
Enjoy the sound of silence

A parody of The Sound of Silence by Paul Simon

(Alternative lyrics by Louise Pull)