(Or what if Paul Simon was writing while he sat by a pond in British summer time)

Here I am just sitting in the yard
And admiring Gods creation
When past my eye, something started to fly
And the buzzing’s a reverberation
There can’t be more, Oh no, there can’t be more
What I think I saw, Oh no, here comes some more

I looked up from the ground and stared all around
They’re having a congregation
Any more of this, I’ll be bitten to bits
It’s like a targeted operation

And he’s on his way
He knows exactly where to go
Yes, he’s on his way
Smelling my blood and a tasty treat
Goodbye evenings, out on the veranda
Me and mosquitos down by the backyard
Me and mosquitos down by the backyard

Woah, in a couple of days I’ll be scratching away
And I don’t want the puss to leak
I got me a notion. I’ll go buy some lotion
It’s amazing where they manage to sneak

And he’s on his way
He knows exactly where to go
Yes, he’s on his way
Smelling my blood and a tasty treat
Goodbye evenings, out on the veranda
Me and mosquitos down by the backyard
Me and mosquitos down by the backyard
Me and mosquitos down by the backyard

(alternative lyrics by Louise Pull)