(or what if Paul Simon was writing about urban foxes)

The first thing I remember
They were underneath the shed
There couldn’t have been more than two or three
And I remember there upon the floor
Cushions been pulled out the door
And I couldn’t laugh
The things just stank of wee
When it’s late in the evening
And there’s no seat left for me

The next thing I remember
They are digging in the dirt
As the sun goes down
They’re making holes, they’re making heaps, yeah
The fences they have broken through
Foods’s gone from the barbeque
They’ve left me nothing else to eat, yeah
Yipping late in the evening
I don’t know how I’ll get to sleep

Then I had a look at the street outside
And part of me just wanted to cry
As I stood aside of the mess they’d made
The bins have been shredded to bits
When they’re only looking for chips
My recycling has all but gone astray
And it was late in the evening
And they’ve wiped my night away

It’s best if I surrender
If they’re staying in my life
They’re gonna get those bins no matter what I do
Chewing through the outdoor lights
Plastic cans and the water pipes
And watching them as they’re chomping on my shoe
And it was late in the evening
And their shrieking’s coming through

(alternative lyrics by Louise Pull)