(or what if Paul Simon was writing about urban foxes)

The first thing I remember
They were underneath the shed
There couldn’t have been more than two or three
And I remember walking through the door
Cushions pulled out on the floor
And I couldn’t laugh
The things just stank of wee
When it’s late in the evening
And there’s no seat left for me

The next thing I remember
They are digging in the dirt
As the sun goes down
They’re making holes, they’re making heaps, yeah
The fences they’ve broken through
Foods’s gone from the barbeque
And they’ve left me with nothing else to eat, yeah
Yipping late in the evening
I don’t know how I’ll get to sleep

Then I had a look at the street outside
And part of me just wanted to cry
As I looked at the disaster on display
The bags have been shredded to bits
Just so they can find some chips
And my recycling bin has all but gone astray
And it was late in the evening
And they’ve wiped my night away

It’s best if I surrender
If they’re staying in my life
They’re gonna get those bins no matter what I do
Chewing through the outdoor lights
Plastic cans and the water pipes
And watching them as they’re chomping on my shoe
And it was late in the evening
And their shrieking’s coming through

(alternative lyrics by Louise Pull)